Losing the magic
Have you ever had the feeling of clicking with someone? Some people call it chemistry, others friendship. For me it’s magic.
I won’t try to detail what that magic is. I’ll just say it happens. It’s a rare feeling. You don’t get it with everybody. The older you become, the more you understand it’s a unique and infrequent feeling.
Maybe that’s the reason why I treasure those relationships. They are special to me. In most instances, it’s not only you that feels it, but it’s also the other person too. It’s a weird feeling of mutual understanding that there is something special there.
Such magic, as with anything precious, requires energy. Loads of energy. The more magical the relationship is, the more it sucks from both parties.
It’s a dangerous situation because it tends to lead to either, draining situations or explosive ones. Due to the high energy involve, it will fizzle down or implode.
The implosion of this magic tends to be spectacular. It’s riddled with arguments, screaming, yelling and high energy voltage. Eventually, one part draws a line and walks away, unable to handle the continuous escalating power clashes.
On the other hand, the magic might stop due to a leak. At one point something breaks within the relationship and the magic just evaporate. It leaks away, like vapor, leaving a fleeing sensation of emptiness.
I invest my soul in such relationships, so when they go away, they take with them a part of me.
It’s disturbing. You keep wondering what happened. What was it that disrupted the flow? It’s as if someone was draining the energy and left an empty carcass.
In my case, it’s especially dramatic. As I tend to treasure such relationships, when they dissolve, I feel particularly heartbroken. To a certain extent, it’s as if a part of me had died. I invest my soul in such relationships, so when they go away, they take a part of me with them.
Once something has passed, I know I might never see it again.
Maybe, the worse aspect of losing the magic is the sadness that it entails. It’s the understanding that it will never be the same, that it had a place and a moment and it will never come back.
Few people care to reflect on their own mortality. I am rare in that sense, but I give it a lot of thought. Someday I will not be here. Once something has passed, I know I might never see it again. Hence, I try to live as mindful as I can, and I try to enjoy each and every second.
I will always remember the feeling of losing a part of you to another human being
When magic happens, I go for it. The drawback is that I also know it will flee. I know that when the spell breaks, it will never be the same.
With time, I’ve learned to cherish those situations, as frugal as they might be. I remember every single one I’ve experience. I don’t regret any of them. But I will always remember the feeling of losing a part of you to another human being.
Enjoy the magic, make it grow if you can and never, ever regret following it into the realm of unreal. It’s worth every single second.
“And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.”
― Roald Dahl