Honesty Or The Art of Getting Lost In Someone
It has always fascinated me the strange effect honesty has on people. I wear it like a second skin. It comes naturally to me, it envelops everything I do and extends its tendrils towards anything and anyone that gets nearby.
It’s like mist that is slowly inhaled by those around you. It gets in you, jumps any barrier or protection and starts flowing unimpeded.
The metamorphosis happens gradually. The poison begins spreading. With each heartbeat, with each interaction, it pushes further into each cell.
It starts with a need to share something personal. It’s like if suddenly, all those fears people have had melted in the blink of an eye. Not only it’s not scary; there is like a rising force that pushes you to share. Like a wild beast, those feelings, those doubts just want to claw their way out, into the open.
The gates open and the heart pours out in an unstoppable stream of ideas, frustrations, emotions and dreams. You try to shut them, to put all your strength into stopping the flood, to no avail.
The eyes connect, the souls tangling, twirling and trying to reach deeper. Now it’s not about them anymore.
People gasp and stare you in the eye. They’re realizing something isn’t right with them. Their mind isn’t their own anymore. Something is preventing them from taking full control of it. The fog keeps spreading.
The eyes connect, the souls tangling, twirling and trying to reach deeper. Now it’s not about them anymore. There is a link. If one soul pulls, the other let’s go and blends. They are one entity now, not independent spirits. Time stops, there are only the other person and a sense of pure and unadulterated freedom.
The pouring out starts transmuting into a bonfire. With each passing moment, each person throws a new experience into the fire. It merges, twists, melts. Rivers of energy fueling the fire. The flames roar brighter, like the inside of a volcano. It pulses to the rhythm of each experience, each frustration, and fear.
The souls untangle but don’t recoil. Like lovers, they face each other, centimeters apart
The mind starts to be fully conscious of what’s happening. Understanding starts sparking behind the eyes and, like thunder, control comes back. The fire, burning brightly just moments before, dims to ashes.
Time restarts, but there is still a lingering feeling of magic, enveloping everything. A rising question starts forming. The souls untangle but don’t recoil. Like lovers, they face each other, centimeters apart. The space between them still crackles with energy. Is in that space that an unspoken question starts rising.
“How brave are you?” echoes in the chasm. You can feel a playful smile, the coyness. It’s tempting you.
“Are you willing to let go? Are you ready for total freedom or are you too scared?”
The mind races, speeds up and stops breathing. The world starts coming into focus, and the fear of being discovered, of being unmasked becomes real.
“No.”
For many, that’s the end of the line. The mist dissipates, leaving an overwhelming sense of wellbeing, but also a taste of fear, of lack of control.
“Time flies when I’m with you. I didn’t realize it’s so late; I need to leave.”
I smile. The story of my life. I find a strange pleasure in being able to touch someone’s soul, at least for a brief moment.
Rarely, very rarely, the train doesn’t stop at that station. Sometimes, the hearts smile timidly, closing that space slowly, so very slowly. There is still fear, but the sense of freedom vibrates strongly within each fiber of the soul.
Fear, doubt or anger coexist peacefully but become inconsequential, like vapor scattered by the wind
Those are the rare instances where everything becomes easy. Both sides let go, embrace and hug each other. Everything is ok, everything is allowed. This is a place where the laws of physic don’t apply. A place where society, norms, education or expectations don’t matter anymore.
Fear, doubt or anger coexist peacefully but become inconsequential, like vapor scattered by the wind. You can see the small clouds, puffing here and there. They pass through us as innocuous as dandelions. We look at them; we analyze them, we try to touch them, just to have them scattered by a gust.
It’s in this rare state that the sense of joy overwhelms anything else. The feeling of safety, of being home, transcends the rest of things.
Honesty is a beautiful thing. It can be scary and dangerous. It requires enormous amounts of bravery, but it’s also liberating. It’s the gate to freedom. It makes life much more vibrant, colorful and easy.
Strive to find that honesty in your life. Push yourself into that gap, breath and allow yourself to answer “YES.” Life will become life, and not what others have dictated you.
